Last week was World Menopause Day.
I didn't post.
Partly because I was celebrating a family birthday. Partly because I wasn't sure I wanted to say anything at all.
So I spent the week sitting with it. What I found was a set of conflicting emotions I think are worth sharing.
Frankly, I was not brought up to talk about women's issues at work. You kept your body out of the boardroom. You got on with it.
And I still struggle to see what a panel about menopause actually achieves.
A fireside chat is a conversation. A policy is a commitment.
What matters more to me is whether an organisation's policies and processes genuinely support every person, in all their different circumstances. Clear support structures for women at different stages of life. Not a once-a-year moment of curiosity from a leader I've never met. My relationship with my manager will always be more relevant than a stranger on a stage.
That's one side of it.
The other side is that I'm learning more and more as I live through it myself. And I'm surprised by how many symptoms we simply never talk about.
I get frozen shoulder at least once a month.
The sleepless nights I blamed on low B12? I can now say they were perimenopause.
Brain fog is real. With AuDHD, it's amplified.
Irregular periods alongside adenomyosis stop being a private matter when I'm anaemic, low on iron and running on no sleep. At that point it becomes a workplace issue, whether we name it or not.
So maybe this post can do two things.
Show women going through it that they are not alone.
And help people recognise that the sick days, the requests for flexibility, the ailments a woman of a certain age keeps reporting, may be part of a bigger life change. One that deserves holistic support, not processing one absence at a time.
Sharing this is uncomfortable. If one person benefits, the discomfort was worth it.
So I'll ask you directly: what is one symptom you wish someone had told you about sooner?