One of the questions I dread the most is when people ask me, “What do I do?” it's the same question as “Who are you?” but slightly less blunt and pointed. But why do I hate this question so much? Part of the issue is that I am so many things that it simply gets hard to explain and put myself in one box, which people expect and are more comfortable with. It doesn't seem very easy for people to reconcile the multiple interests and pursuits I engage in. So my multiplicity appears to take them by surprise or, in some cases, even offend them somehow.
I vividly remember meeting a new client years ago while working in a consulting business. When I explained some of the things I had been involved in before joining the company, which included owning and running a home business, a cake business, writing, and painting, she drily asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. To be honest, she was a bitch, and it was a completely unnecessary question designed to belittle me – for what reason, I'm not sure, but I am sure that her reaction has contributed to the hesitance I feel when someone asks me what I do.
But today, I am reclaiming my position and unapologetically saying I do many things. I am multi-talented and multi-faceted. I’m a human kaleidoscope. Deal with it!
Who am I? Well, I'm a badass trying to navigate this world with supreme confidence, lots of resilience, a wicked sense of humour, and a lot of sexy swagger. There I said it!
If you want more of a sense of the multiple ways that I show up in the world, then consider my five personas:
§ Alpha Omega
§ Boss Bitch
§ Veracious Guru
§ Mama Me
§ Creative Voyager
§ Sexy Siren
Alpha Omega
I am the beginning and end. The buck stops with me for every aspect of my life, and I have come to a level of completeness in my being, meaning I take responsibility for who I am. I am confident and comfortable in that confidence. People sometimes ask me why I am so confident and laugh and think, why wouldn’t I be?
I come from a charmed background with parents who instilled a strong work ethic in me and who expected nothing but the best. That may have been daunting for some, but I've always been up for a challenge. I use my confidence to propel me forward, and although that confidence wavers when I am in a new situation, it is always there under the surface, bolstering me and ensuring that I keep going and keep trying. Confidence is contagious, and I also surround myself with confident people. In my circle, success is assured because we believe in ourselves and each other!
Boss Bitch
This is my corporate persona. The one who navigates board rooms and commands respect across the globe because of my undeniable professionalism, breadth of knowledge, and ability to work with people from all different backgrounds, bringing different perspectives and finding the balance between them.
The Boss Bitch is the one who keeps striving to be better, the one who has multiple postgraduate qualifications, who is a fellow of chartered accountancy as well as a fellow of the Human Resources profession. She has a postgraduate certificate in leadership and a Masters in Business and HR. She is unstoppable.
This woman has written and highlighted the experiences of Black Women in the Workplace. I am the Trusted Black Girl, as my books are also called in this space.
Veracious Guru
Some people call me the truth-teller. I'm also often told that I speak truth to power. I am extremely direct. Something that people don’t always enjoy. But alongside my directness is my generosity and my ability to guide and support others. It is why I chose to train as a coach. I enjoy taking people on a journey and being their guide. I imagine myself to be a cross between a guru and a shaman, connecting with the universe to find my path and guide others using the truth as my north star.
Working with people on their personal or professional journeys is deeply satisfying, and it is why I wrote my self-help book series, the Cracked Cocoon.
Mama Me
Coming from Guyana, it is difficult not to be influenced by society's more conservative and traditional nature. Despite all of my progressive perspectives and feminist attitudes, I still believe in traditional gender roles for myself. I enjoy cooking and ironing, and I don’t like taking out the trash. My dream was to have three children and frolic around my kitchen barefoot and pregnant. I wish on some level that I could have been a housewife – not because of the housework but because of the freedom to be present for my children and to fill my time with the things that I enjoy, such as cooking and interior design and spending time with my children.
I don’t think of myself as maternal traditionally, but I am fiercely in love with and protective of my children. They shape much of who I am now that they are here, and if I ever feel tired or as if things are overwhelming, they remind me to continue pushing forward.
Being a girl mom is very different from being a boy mom, and I have marvelled at the experience of having children in two different stages of my life. I had my daughter in my 20s and my son in my 30s. These phases in my life influence the way I mother and influence the way that I interact with each of them.
It can be a thankless task, but motherhood provides its own rewards for me.
Creative Voyager
I am a creative. It took a long time for me to say that sentence out loud and to own that moniker. I lean towards logic, yet I am also creative; I paint, write, cook, and create in the kitchen. I bake and design cakes, incorporate colour into my clothing, design outfits, and even design dresses brought to life by talented friends. I decorate my home and find solutions to storage and presentation. I am a creative.
Sexy Siren
The last and maybe most divergent persona is the Sexy Siren. I write semi-erotic novels, currently, I have a trilogy out called Screwed up Sister. I have always been extremely comfortable with my sexuality. I talk about sex freely and also write extensively about sex to encourage the same openness and comfort with sexuality. I do not believe sex is or should be shameful, and in conflict with some of my more traditional views, I don’t think sex is just about male pleasure. I am always determined to get mine!